Freeman's Mind： Episode 38-0n5oJ9D86Fo.en.srt

#100:00:02,716→00:00:06,686

[Subtitles by danielsangeo]

#200:00:18,732→00:00:19,432

[sputtering]

#300:00:19,466→00:00:22,168

I-I can't sleep. I know I saw a bat.

#400:00:22,168→00:00:25,538

It's just waiting until I'm asleep to bite my face off.

#500:00:25,538→00:00:26,272

Where is it?

#600:00:27,007→00:00:29,275

Look at that ceiling, it could be anywhere.

#700:00:29,609→00:00:32,178

This is a losing battle; I'm getting out of here.

#800:00:32,178→00:00:35,281

The feng shui of this room sucks anyway.

#900:00:35,281→00:00:37,450

Why does this room even exist?

#1000:00:37,484→00:00:38,551

It doesn't.

#1100:00:38,551→00:00:41,187

I'm leaving it, therefore it ceases to exist.

#1200:00:42,022→00:00:45,859

Well, not really, but that's how my memory needs to file it.

#1300:00:45,892→00:00:48,294

Why are there enormous pistons here?

#1400:00:48,294→00:00:51,197

If there was something on the belt, it would just crush it to the side

#1500:00:51,197→00:00:52,766

and not send it anywhere.

#1600:00:52,799→00:00:54,034

So, why would...

#1700:00:55,201→00:00:56,569

Yes, master.

#1800:00:57,670→00:00:59,472

Wait, no! Stop!

#1900:00:59,506→00:01:02,642

I really don't understand what the purpose of this is.

#2000:01:02,642→00:01:04,277

Other than to scare me.

#2100:01:04,277→00:01:10,083

But, there are cheaper and more energy-efficient ways of doing that.

#2200:01:10,083→00:01:13,219

I would feel better about this experience if I knew that

#2300:01:13,253→00:01:17,490

on the other side of these walls, a giant robot was moving its fingers.

#2400:01:18,558→00:01:20,693

It would seem more noble then.

#2500:01:20,693→00:01:22,062

Oh wow. Seriously?

#2600:01:22,062→00:01:24,431

We actually have crushers of death, too?

#2700:01:24,431→00:01:26,099

What are we making in this factory?

#2800:01:26,099→00:01:27,801

Something flat.

#2900:01:27,801→00:01:29,502

Jesus Christ...

#3000:01:29,536→00:01:30,637

Oh-kyaaah!

#3100:01:31,304→00:01:32,972

Oh, they have different stomping patterns!

#3200:01:32,972→00:01:34,808

Yeah, that's really necessary!

#3300:01:34,808→00:01:36,309

Yaaah!

#3400:01:36,309→00:01:37,710

Oh, this one's full of tricks!

#3500:01:37,710→00:01:39,979

It's tapping out Morse on the fucking belt!

#3600:01:39,979→00:01:41,448

Red lights, walking backwards,

#3700:01:41,481→00:01:43,983

GIVE ME SOME MORE PRESSURE! I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH!

#3800:01:43,983→00:01:47,087

YES! BIOHAZARD! PERFECT! THANK YOU!

#3900:01:47,087→00:01:49,222

YAAAH! FALLING TO MY DEATH!

#4000:01:49,222→00:01:51,458

TANK OF ACID! SUPERB!

#4100:01:51,458→00:01:52,592

Sidestepping...

#4200:01:53,793→00:01:57,931

I hear fire... but I don't see fire.

#4300:01:57,931→00:02:00,100

It must be space fire.

#4400:02:00,100→00:02:03,736

But I am not a space man, thus, I do not need to be extinguished.

#4500:02:04,204→00:02:06,039

Man, look at these landings.

#4600:02:06,039→00:02:08,842

Sideways freefalling on moving conveyor belts.

#4700:02:08,875→00:02:10,643

I am a cat!

#4800:02:10,677→00:02:13,480

It's kind of pissing me off this whole place is abandoned.

#4900:02:13,480→00:02:15,949

I don't have anyone to show off to.

#5000:02:15,949→00:02:17,851

If the workers were here, they could say,

#5100:02:17,884→00:02:22,555

"Hey, look at him! He's ridin' a conveyor belt! I've always wanted to do that!"

#5200:02:22,555→00:02:25,492

Whoa, oh my God. I can feel the heat from here.

#5300:02:25,492→00:02:26,659

I need to get off here.

#5400:02:26,659→00:02:27,994

Maybe this way...

#5500:02:27,994→00:02:28,962

No, this way sucks.

#5600:02:28,962→00:02:30,230

Okay, yeah, this'll work.

#5700:02:30,997→00:02:32,765

Okay, that's the end of the ride.

#5800:02:32,765→00:02:36,169

I can dodge giant crushers; I can't dodge an incinerator.

#5900:02:36,169→00:02:38,671

I would need much better reflexes.

#6000:02:40,373→00:02:42,142

And a more nebulous body.

#6100:02:42,142→00:02:45,111

Until you can rearrange atomic particles the way you want them,

#6200:02:45,111→00:02:48,414

I don't think anyone can ever claim to have true power.

#6300:02:48,448→00:02:50,416

Oh, what's this? Another dead end?

#6400:02:50,416→00:02:51,417

Okay...

#6500:02:52,585→00:02:57,023

Hey, then why have safety railing and a walkway if no one can get up here anyway?

#6600:02:57,023→00:03:01,427

I cheated! I came in on the conveyor belt! No one's supposed to do that!

#6700:03:02,529→00:03:04,531

I could expect this crap on Mars.

#6800:03:04,531→00:03:06,933

They have a 1/3 gravity; I could just hop up here.

#6900:03:06,933→00:03:08,334

Not on Earth!

#7000:03:09,536→00:03:11,404

Well, that drop wasn't too bad.

#7100:03:11,404→00:03:13,339

Maybe I'm developing a resistance.

#7200:03:13,339→00:03:17,177

It's like that joke on the Addams Family where Gomez tells an insurance agent

#7300:03:17,177→00:03:20,180

he's learning to skydive with a smaller and smaller parachute

#7400:03:20,180→00:03:21,915

until he doesn't need one at all.

#7500:03:21,915→00:03:23,249

That was a cool show.

#7600:03:23,249→00:03:25,051

I identified with Thing.

#7700:03:25,051→00:03:26,619

What is this thing?

#7800:03:26,619→00:03:28,354

It looks like a shrine.

#7900:03:28,354→00:03:31,724

Maybe it breaks so much, they decided to install a light here for the workers

#8000:03:31,758→00:03:33,459

rather than replace it.

#8100:03:33,459→00:03:37,597

If your logic acts under the assumption that this thing will be breaking forever,

#8200:03:37,597→00:03:40,200

then some decisions start making more sense.

#8300:03:40,200→00:03:44,103

Something tells me you're not going to contribute anything to this conversation.

#8400:03:44,904→00:03:46,172

I'm a good debater.

#8500:03:46,172→00:03:49,609

Though, you do make a strong argument for not going that way.

#8600:03:49,609→00:03:53,546

All right. I'm agnostic about which concrete corridor I take,

#8700:03:53,546→00:03:57,850

having no other information than it's another concrete corridor.

#8800:03:57,850→00:04:01,921

Oh, it's a dead end... with no storage here or anything.

#8900:04:02,388→00:04:03,389

I see.

#9000:04:03,389→00:04:05,358

We're playing that game again.

#9100:04:05,358→00:04:10,396

Well, I do have...criticisms... about how this place is structured.

#9200:04:10,430→00:04:14,400

Maybe I'm not one to talk, because I shouldn't even be here.

#9300:04:14,400→00:04:16,135

But, you shouldn't either.

#9400:04:17,270→00:04:19,672

So, there's that.

#9500:04:19,672→00:04:20,907

Oh, hey, a door.

#9600:04:20,907→00:04:23,643

This means that the builders of this temple were civilized.

#9700:04:23,643→00:04:24,944

[lock jiggles]

#9800:04:24,944→00:04:26,379

No...

#9900:04:26,379→00:04:27,780

No, my mistake.

#10000:04:27,780→00:04:29,048

They're savages.

#10100:04:29,048→00:04:31,784

But, who am I to question their ways?

#10200:04:31,784→00:04:34,887

Maybe they play hide-and-go-seek here when it's a slow shift.

#10300:04:34,887→00:04:38,224

Maybe...they're doing it right now!

#10400:04:38,224→00:04:41,160

And you...are...it.

#10500:04:42,061→00:04:43,129

I win.

#10600:04:43,129→00:04:45,265

Okay, so who's more at fault here?

#10700:04:45,265→00:04:48,968

Me, for entering this place like I'm trying to break into the Pentagon?

#10800:04:48,968→00:04:53,373

Or, everyone else, for not giving me an exit to begin with?

#10900:04:53,373→00:04:55,008

And another dead end.

#11000:04:55,008→00:04:56,609

No! Two dead ends.

#11100:04:56,609→00:04:57,644

Classy.

#11200:04:57,677→00:04:59,946

Okay, so that answers that question.

#11300:04:59,946→00:05:02,415

It is NOT my fault,

#11400:05:02,415→00:05:04,584

but will I be able to prove it?

#11500:05:04,584→00:05:05,918

I mean, I looked.

#11600:05:05,918→00:05:10,123

There was no entrance or exit from that other factory wing.

#11700:05:10,123→00:05:13,192

But, of course, some jackass is going to come along later

#11800:05:13,192→00:05:16,729

and show me an obvious one in a place I already looked.

#11900:05:16,763→00:05:18,131

It wasn't there earlier.

#12000:05:18,131→00:05:20,433

Like there's going to be one here tomorrow, I bet.

#12100:05:20,433→00:05:24,237

Fucking gremlins are building it right now, just so I look like an idiot later.

#12200:05:24,237→00:05:28,074

When the truth is, I arrived at this reality a little too early.

#12300:05:28,074→00:05:29,375

Oh. "Stairs".

#12400:05:29,375→00:05:30,576

That'll work.

#12500:05:30,576→00:05:31,244

Shit.

#12600:05:31,911→00:05:34,480

I feel like strangling something.

#12700:05:34,514→00:05:36,849

It would be fun to be known as a strangler.

#12800:05:36,883→00:05:40,753

I mean, it wouldn't be worth it to strangle people just to get the name,

#12900:05:40,753→00:05:44,691

but if the police came up with a name for me like "The Sneaky Strangler",

#13000:05:44,691→00:05:45,758

that would be cool.

#13100:05:45,758→00:05:48,594

Okay, good. This sign points straight,

#13200:05:48,594→00:05:50,596

not left four times in a row.

#13300:05:50,596→00:05:52,098

That would piss me off.

#13400:05:52,098→00:05:54,367

Oh, what am I talking about? I have a Ph.D.

#13500:05:54,367→00:05:56,602

They'd call me "Dr. Stranglelove".

#13600:05:56,602→00:06:00,273

Actually, that could be a porn name, but only for the edgier stuff.

#13700:06:00,273→00:06:00,773

Ah.

#13800:06:00,807→00:06:01,274

[gun clicks]

#13900:06:01,274→00:06:01,774

OH GOD!

#14000:06:01,808→00:06:02,642

I'M OUT OF AMMO!

#14100:06:02,642→00:06:04,243

WHOSE JOB WAS IT TO RELOAD?!

#14200:06:04,243→00:06:05,244

THEY'RE FIRED!

#14300:06:05,244→00:06:06,879

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'THERE'S NO AMMO LEFT'?!

#14400:06:06,879→00:06:08,514

YOU'RE FIRED, TOO!

#14500:06:08,548→00:06:11,617

I can't delegate anything around here!

#14600:06:12,652→00:06:15,188

Well, at least I have my backup gun.

#14700:06:15,188→00:06:18,524

Let's just hope I don't need a backup backup gun.

#14800:06:18,524→00:06:20,326

Most people don't need that.

#14900:06:20,326→00:06:22,895

Most people don't even need a backup gun.

#15000:06:22,895→00:06:24,931

I guess it depends on what state you live in.

#15100:06:24,931→00:06:26,332

Where the hell is this thing?

#15200:06:26,332→00:06:27,600

I didn't imagine it.

#15300:06:27,600→00:06:27,967

Draw!

#15400:06:29,569→00:06:31,504

Well, it was a fair fight.

#15500:06:31,504→00:06:33,339

No one can say it wasn't.

#15600:06:33,339→00:06:37,310

Yeah, I guess this is presumptuous but I have to say that--

#15700:06:37,310→00:06:39,779

Oh, hey, there are stairs. That sign wasn't lying.

#15800:06:40,346→00:06:41,748

What was I thinking about?

#15900:06:41,748→00:06:42,949

Stairs...

#16000:06:43,816→00:06:44,884

Alien...

#16100:06:45,685→00:06:47,487

I wanted a banana milkshake...

#16200:06:47,487→00:06:48,454

Oh, that's right.

#16300:06:48,454→00:06:51,023

I'm a little disappointed by these aliens.

#16400:06:51,023→00:06:53,393

They're not displaying much intelligence.

#16500:06:53,393→00:06:54,460

They're naked.

#16600:06:54,460→00:06:56,129

They're mostly just bipeds.

#16700:06:56,129→00:06:58,965

I could come up with much better aliens than these.

#16800:06:58,965→00:07:01,734

Okay...uh, hah hah!

#16900:07:01,734→00:07:03,102

Joke's over.

#17000:07:03,102→00:07:04,704

Where's the exit?

#17100:07:04,704→00:07:06,305

Oh, my God.

#17200:07:06,305→00:07:09,275

Alright, I already went through this red shrine thing,

#17300:07:09,275→00:07:11,844

so I know where this belt goes.

#17400:07:12,845→00:07:14,580

I guess I'll just try again.

#17500:07:14,580→00:07:16,082

Maybe I missed something.

#17600:07:16,082→00:07:19,752

Because, y'know, exits are supposed to be difficult to locate.

#17700:07:19,752→00:07:23,756

Because, God help you if somebody exited your building by accident.

#17800:07:23,756→00:07:26,492

Then, they'd have to come back in.

#17900:07:26,492→00:07:27,994

Oh, hey, that's it.

#18000:07:27,994→00:07:29,662

I didn't try this belt backwards.

#18100:07:30,963→00:07:32,398

(gasping) Because it's the other...

#18200:07:32,398→00:07:33,833

one I came in on...

#18300:07:34,734→00:07:37,036

Okay...so let's talk better aliens...

#18400:07:38,104→00:07:39,605

It depends on the gravity...

#18500:07:40,339→00:07:41,774

and atmosphere obviously...

#18600:07:42,241→00:07:43,443

but, if it's like ours...

#18700:07:44,277→00:07:46,179

what you need is all the organs in the core...

#18800:07:46,979→00:07:48,514

with many muscular appendages...

#18900:07:48,848→00:07:50,683

with handlike grippers on the ends...

#19000:07:52,051→00:07:53,853

If the inner ear...was developed...

#19100:07:54,086→00:07:56,422

this would allow for extremely good mobility...

#19200:07:57,323→00:07:58,991

and a natural advantage over us...

#19300:07:59,425→00:08:00,293

for tool use...

#19400:08:00,660→00:08:01,461

Huh...

#19500:08:01,461→00:08:03,663

So, it would look like a jointed octopus

#19600:08:03,663→00:08:06,199

rotated on an axis or two...with hands.

#19700:08:06,566→00:08:07,366

No!

#19800:08:07,366→00:08:08,367

Dammit, no!

#19900:08:08,367→00:08:09,502

This is unacceptable!

#20000:08:11,103→00:08:12,872

I remember lasers are bad!

#20100:08:12,872→00:08:14,941

Tripmine! That's a tripmine!

#20200:08:14,941→00:08:16,442

Why would we do that?

#20300:08:16,442→00:08:19,712

Either everything conforms to standards or we blow up the assembly line.

#20400:08:19,712→00:08:20,513

Is that it?

#20500:08:20,513→00:08:23,015

What the hell? This is an American company.

#20600:08:23,015→00:08:27,086

We're not supposed to have that all-or- nothing mentality like the Japanese.

#20700:08:27,086→00:08:27,887

I'm going to shoot it.

#20800:08:27,887→00:08:29,789

I don't care if it blows up the conveyor.

#20900:08:29,789→00:08:30,690

It's their fault.

#21000:08:31,591→00:08:33,593

Dammit! This is hard.

#21100:08:33,593→00:08:36,329

I could use the scope, but it would just kick up in my face.

#21200:08:37,530→00:08:38,097

Ah!

#21300:08:38,564→00:08:40,333

Yup, I blew up the conveyor.

#21400:08:40,333→00:08:43,603

Now the district manager has to commit hara-kiri or something, I guess.

#21500:08:43,603→00:08:47,173

This reminds me of those old video games from Japan that were impossible to beat

#21600:08:47,173→00:08:49,575

and if you died, they would tell you how many fingers to cut off

#21700:08:49,575→00:08:50,910

to preserve your honor.

#21800:08:50,910→00:08:52,545

Man, that barely damaged it.

#21900:08:52,545→00:08:54,714

I guess it was a practice explosive.

#22000:08:54,714→00:08:56,682

Are you fucking kiddi-- TWO?!

#22100:08:56,682→00:08:57,683

(gasping)

#22200:08:58,651→00:08:59,619

Just in case the...

#22300:09:00,219→00:09:00,786

first one...

#22400:09:01,053→00:09:01,821

wasn't enough?

#22500:09:02,321→00:09:03,389

Jesus Christ...

#22600:09:03,990→00:09:05,825

I can't crabwalk out of here...

#22700:09:06,359→00:09:07,860

Okay, okay, I'll just grab the side...

#22800:09:08,394→00:09:09,595

and squeeze through...

#22900:09:10,096→00:09:14,066

Oh my God... it sucks big wads...

#23000:09:14,500→00:09:18,137

(straining)

#23100:09:18,137→00:09:20,940

(gasping)

#23200:09:20,940→00:09:21,507

Fuck...

#23300:09:23,242→00:09:25,211

I don't think I'm going to get a nap in today.

#23400:09:25,811→00:09:27,880

There's just too much to do.

#23500:09:27,880→00:09:29,348

Ah, door! Door!

#23600:09:29,348→00:09:31,083

I-I can make time for that.

#23700:09:31,083→00:09:35,121

If you ask me whether I'd rather open a door or try to kill myself...

#23800:09:36,255→00:09:37,089

Actually, scratch that.

#23900:09:37,089→00:09:38,424

Those are shitty options.

#24000:09:38,424→00:09:39,425

I just want to leave.

#24100:09:39,425→00:09:42,261

Oh, this is THAT door.

#24200:09:42,261→00:09:44,397

So, leaving was never an option.

#24300:09:44,397→00:09:48,000

And crawling in circles until you fucking die, THERE'S AN OPTION!

#24400:09:48,000→00:09:49,635

I LIKE THAT OPTION!

#24500:09:49,635→00:09:51,470

LET'S GO WITH THAT OPTION!

#24600:09:51,470→00:09:53,105

BLAAAAAARRRRRGH!

#24700:09:56,042→00:09:57,810

Actually, I was just kidding.

#24800:09:57,810→00:09:59,500

I don't like that option.